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An excerpt from Tim Keller's study guide: "Paul's letter to the Galatians," p.11 --
The 'Doctrine' of Workmanship
One of the glories of Christianity is the assurance that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good workss, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10). This statement by Paul that we are "created" does not simply refer to our physical formation, as God has, of course, created all human beings (see Genesis1:26-27). Rather, Paul is talking about being "created in Christ." It means that every person who believes in Christ does so because she or he is the object of a process of God's "spiritual creation." The word workmanship is very important; it is the Greek word poema from which we get our word "poem." It means that every believer is essentially a work of art -- God's art!
Consider how artists work, whether they are writers, musicians, painters, sculptors, etc. They labor long and hard and with the utmost care and detailed attention. Sometimes they do very little, only a stroke here or there. Other times they make massive changes. But always they seek to bring the raw material into line with an artistic vision.
Thus Paul is telling us that God labors over all believers throughout our entire lives, intervening and guiding and shaping us to bring us into line with a vision he has for us. This mentioned also in Ephesians 2:10 -- "created to ... good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Thus, God has a particular set of good works for us to do, for which he prepares us our whole lives.
***
Understanding this more deeply informs the depth of my thankfulness to God for who He is and what He is doing, the drastic and the subtle. It helps my heart because I haven't been very thankful lately. Praise God for the things that I don't see because I know in His perfect timing that He will accomplish these things according to His good and perfect will.
Today, everything is grey and the world is tasteless.
I have no desire today. Instead, I have gafm.
A spillover from yesterday, a feeling of suffocation.
Like how I used to "run away" from home for periods of time (hours, to hide in the nearby park)
to confront aspects of the outside world that my flesh is willing to deal with
and to passively engage with everything else by means of existing.
you are not mine. you are not mine. you are NOT mine.
i am filled with a peace and a freedom that i haven't had in awhile.
it allows me to take things as they come, to do things in the fullness of what they should be.
i can open my hand and receive things that are new, glimmers of inspiration.
to enjoy each season for what it should be -- a challenge, a joy.
let this be true of my heart and my mind when i am in the valley.
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
- Music:if You want me to -- Ginny Owens
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Phillip Fong Moon Passed away suddenly on April 25, 2008 at age 59 in Honolulu, HI. Phil was preceded in death by father, Ned Moon. Survived by wife, Margaret; daughters, Kirsten and Erin; stepdaughters, Mahana and Kili; mother, Lew King; younger siblings and their spouses, Vincent (Pearl), Judson (Kristy), Anson (Priscilla), and Rozane (Roger Gee); and his nephews and nieces. Born and raised in San Francisco, he attended public schools in Chinatown and North Beach. He concurrently attended Nam Kue Chinese School and spent time at Cameron House. Phil graduated from UCLA in 1972 in economics and political science, and USF, School of Law in 1975. Phil moved to Hawaii where he practiced law the past 30 years. Most recently, he was with the Office of the Vice Chancellor for Research and Graduate Education, University of Hawaii Manoa and on special projects at the John A. Burns School of Medicine. However, Phil's passion was his daughters, Kirsten and Erin, who he jointly raised with their mother, Karen. He loved them dearly and was proud of each one. Phil enjoyed many outdoor activities, especially golf. Regardless the sport, he gave it his all. Win or lose, he enjoyed the challenge and competition. He was a loving husband and father, a devoted son, a caring brother, and a terrific uncle. Phil was a "people" person whose hearty laughter and warmness touched many. He will be missed. A memorial service will be held at the Thurston Chapel, Punahou, Honolulu, HI. Family and friends are invited to celebrate Phil's life on Saturday, May 10, 2008, 2:00 pm at Ashley & McMullen (6th Ave. and Geary Blvd.), San Francisco.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c
sometimes, i just want to tell people that i love them without worrying about the repercussions.
and just letting it be 'cause it is what it is, and i don't want anything particularly more.
is that ironic? contradictory? it wouldn't be if i explained it.
it means
not being weaksauce and a wimp but sticking it through when it is worth it, even if you don't feel like it is.
it means
not having a transitional or temporary mindset even if you'll only be here for that long.
it means
offering yourself up, wholly and fully, to be transparent, to change, to be willing.
it means
i'm nauseous and i want to throw up.
When I'm angry, I shut down. I tend not to speak, but the words that do come from my mouth are carefully chosen, and packed with punch. Things fester within, and I find ultimatums to be attractive because they produce lines, division, space, clarity, for me to be me. In this time, I cannot be moved, I need to soak in my thoughts and feelings and understand what they mean and what I'm going through. I cannot respond to you in this time, or in your timing because I can't catch up until I know what I'm dealing with. Efforts to move me, to make me do something or feel something I don't will be futile. But you can help me, you can be my friend, you can walk me through it, you can just be there, and that's pretty much what I need.
When I'm burdened, there will be a lump in my throat -- connected to the wells in my eyes, and the throbbing of my heart. This, too, will keep me from speaking. This will capture my every waking moment. It will inform how I respond to you, to how I love, and my posture to receive the words that you give me. My strength to receive what you can normally deliver to me will be compromised by my fragility at that moment. Though I may fall weak and vulnerable in that moment, I am carried by a resiliency derived from my foundation in my faith. It may take time, but I will bounce back.
When I am insecure, I am quiet and overly conscious. I know this, and I know this well. I can be even slightly comfortable in my insecurity because I know it. Despite guises I will wear, I will want to return to a place where I can be by myself, and just be. This is where, this is where I lie. I may not look at you in the eye, except occasionally, to pretend that i am not being ridiculously avoidant, but this is who I am. I create space for me to be by myself because I know what I need. It isn't always the wisest thing, nor the most transparent, but it's how I've learned to be attentive to what I need.
I know myself when I can be beautiful and when I can be a "blessing" -- don't get me wrong.
I am quite aware of some of what even I would consider to be my blind spots (good/bad).
I just felt the need for this to be open, clear, known.
Because for true love to happen, for true community, for living .. this should is necessary
and I don't want to go through life not being known for who I am,
even if it means that people will see the real me,
Imperfect as I may be.
Yeah, I'm sure of that.
I don't need to pretend.
unravel, unwind, from all that entangles.
but no, it's like they're vines that tighten their grip when you exert resistance
and, when you're not looking, thorns emerge and pierce the flesh beneath for only you to see, you to feel
they can't see it on the outside. it leaves you silent 'cause you can't, don't want to talk about it.
though tumultuous, it has been steady.
for a time of refinement like none before --
in all things i will move forward, even if it doesn't appear linear..
but true growth doesn't always happen in that fashion.
instead, there's pruning, redemption, solidification.
i am here, and i need to be..
in a place where i don't feel the need to say happy holy words
but rather, in a position where i can be free
to hear and listen, to live and respond.. sincerely
and though i may be of few words externally,
there is something greater going on under
through whispers of prayers, through a lifted thought or feeling
i am here, i am available.
.
.
maybe those vines are expectations.
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
How things can change in just an instant, from power and work not of our own.
to the only God, who is able to keep us, able to keep us from falling..
to the only God, be all glory and honor, majesty and power.. for all ages now and forevermore.
i have missed You dearly.
to know love is to know pain.
to know anger is to know hurt.
i am the most selfish person on earth.
not so much with my belongings or my time,
but rather, with myself.
i do not understand what influence i have on people
i do not understand how much people love me
i do not understand what i mean to them
i do not understand how much they desire my undivided attention
i am a walking hypocrite, an inflicter of pain and distance
i am she who separates, who hurts, who builds walls
i ravage circumstances, i am destructive
and i am comfortable
do you not realize that i think about you everyday?
do you not understand that i wait for your phone call?
do you not know that my day is brightened when i hear your voice?
do you not know the honor that i feel when you ask me what i think?
do you not know that i want the best for you?
do you not know that my heart feels whole when you're with me,
that i can laugh and be silly and free when you're around,
and i know you'll be there without a doubt by my side,
that i want you always in my sight?
do you not know that i ache each time you push me away,
each time i wished you were here but you were not,
each time when you chose somewhere or someone else instead of me,
the worry and fear that plagues my heart when i don't know you're okay?
daughter . friend . sister . lover . supporter . child
growing pains,
especially when initiated on your end,
feel drenched with such rebellion and selfishness,
yet i wonder whether i have rationalized these two to become entitlements
that are not actually what they are --
yet i've done it for so long, i've become accustomed to them now
and fail to see the long trail of tears others and i have shed.
so what is this, and what is claiming your inheritance
when it seems mutually exclusive
when will they wont be mutually exclusive?
and thus reveals true feelings about my flippancy returning home
because it is elsewhere that i feel less opposition, less pressure,
less "unnecessary" obstacles to overcome and fight, that i can be me.
i dont know when or how,
and as much as i want to deny it
or compartmentalize it
my worlds are colliding
and i cannot stop them anymore.
i'm just too tired.
in my singleness, i thank God for protecting me and those that i would have likely hurt very deeply.
this has been one of the most painful weeks in my life.
These morsels of life are so sweet to me, things that I can savor and really treasure -- not necessarily in an escapist manner, but more that of serendipitous moments where I need them. Though things are not in the least bit ideal, I know my heart can be full. I love these times when my heart can be tender even in imperfection.
Time for me to step out of the water
Time for me to just loose my hold
And its time for me to leave here all that I've hoped for
Could you take me where I need to go
I am waiting for your love
I am reaching for you touch
Lost without you God reach down
I need you now, I need you now
Remembering this day last year causes me to celebrate today with thanksgiving,
for His firm grasp upon my life, for knowing me better than I know myself,
for His goodness and overwhelming love that unrelenting.
That though I may not know what's in front of me, that I can trust and believe
because He is GOOD. so, so sooo good.
Today, I am a bit overwhelmed with everything going on. I'm kind of drowning, but I don't really have a choice now it seems.
So I'm kind of MIA from some things, but hopefully not the important ones. I guess it's called prioritizing.
In any case, today I'm decompressing by resting on a verse from Proverbs 29:18. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
In my own life, that of others around me, believers and nonbelievers alike, and those that I can / can't share hearts w/ esp.
Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law. (NASB)
Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law. (ESV)
Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law. (NIV)
When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. but he whoever obeys the law is joyful. (NLT)
I want to firmly say that Jesus is my life passion, my vision, everything that I work and strive for.. and know it deep down.
So even though everything I may encounter or all the ideas that I'm fed on a daily basis may surround me,
I hope to emerge standing on the solid rock of truth and rooted in Him, because I'm fascinated by God and no one else.
No longer is it a tension, but instead it has become a marinating time of expectation and joy.
so hear my heart's cry and my prayer for this life: "above all else, give me Yourself!"
-v.beeching
All I want is You to have Your way
You are the Potter and I am the clay
All I need is You to have Your way
You are Creator and I'm what You've made
Finally I surrender
You are God
I am man
You are sovereign.
- Music:"surrender" -- misty edwards
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/01/08/BART.s
just following this particular story hedges upon a lot of realities that i had been presented with this break,
reminding me of a lot of things in my life that i have compartmentalized and not dealt with.. probably due to fear.
lately, i think it's because my heart is too weak. i dont want to absorb and explore the in's and out's of such ugliness.
oh, and i can see now how He wants me to see, how He wants me to mature.. a glimpse anyway.
but i've been resisting lately because i'm scared of what it will look like, of possibly what it'll mean.
and especially 'cause i've been seeing myself grow weaker against things that i used to be more bold about
because i cant separate these areas of my life any longer.
